Why I Might Not Have Kids

We love the idea of the "mini me". Not sure what that says about us. Are we just vain, or is it a desire from a primal level? That's for another post.

Either way, we - just like all living things - are made to reproduce. We're so good at it that as of May 2019 we number 7.7 billion worldwide. That's insane, y'all.

Though I think the devastation we bring to our planet is more than just overpopulation (it's mainly being inconsiderate to our home), overpopulation is a problem. The issue is less about the amount of people as it is about our use of resources.

"Human overpopulation (or population overshoot) occurs when the ecological footprint of a human population in a specific geographical location exceeds the carrying capacity of the place occupied by that group. Overpopulation can further be viewed, in a long term perspective, as existing if a population cannot be maintained given the rapid depletion of non-renewable resources or given the degradation of the capacity of the environment to give support to the population. Changes in lifestyle could reverse overpopulated status without a large population reduction."     - Wikipedia

We actually have the resources to care for all 7.7 billion people in a way that wouldn't devastate the planet. We actually have the ability to feed, house, and medicate all people. We have the room for everybody - we're just very bad at doing the math. Humans are inherently selfish and near-sighted. Overpopulation is only an issue because we haven't figured out how to efficiently spread our resources evenly across each continent.

Then there's the issue of stupid people. Stupidity is our nemesis - or rather, the earth's nemesis. With such a high number of us out there, the percentage of idiots is going to be pretty high. Somehow, this percentage holds us back from evolving and exacting the change that would save the planet. These idiots are responsible for electing anti-climate-change government officials; for trophy hunting endangered species; for bringing preventable diseases back to life by refusing to vaccinate themselves and their children; for spreading the deadly idea that climate change is a conspiracy.

Stupid people hold the power.

We're so indescribably lucky to have this planet to ourselves. Think about it: we all get to live on a rock floating in space that provides us with exactly what we need to survive. We're surrounded by planets that contain no life. We could be the only 7.7 billion humans in the entire universe. We are so unbelievably privileged to have the plants, water, animals, and landscapes this earth provides us with.

So how stupid are we that we've managed to damage the atmosphere so catastrophically that the damage will be irreversible within the next two decades? How ungrateful are we that we kill off between 200-2,000 species every year? 2,000 plants and animals, just gone. Most of them we haven't even researched, so we'll never know how they benefited our world.

We are in the midst of the largest extinction period in 60 million years. You and me - we are experiencing it right now, in this moment. Try to wrap your mind around that.

Our children will likely know a world where tigers and polar bears don't exist. Our children might have to find ways to pollinate our food without bees. We are leaving our children with a dead planet walking.

I can honestly say, without a shadow of a doubt, that if I had the power to snap my fingers like Thanos and not just eradicate half of human life, but ALL human life in one painless motion - I would.

Are there specific humans I love dearly? Yes, of course. However, as a species, I'm so tired of how evil we are. We're evil on purpose and we're evil by accident. We're destroying this beautiful planet and all the innocent wildlife on it just because we think we're superior.

So how can I possibly bring children of my own into this world when I'd rather see the entire human race go extinct? The sad truth is that I can't. I'd have to justify to myself why bringing more people into the world is okay, and I haven't been able to do that yet.

Would I raise them well so that I would be putting considerate people into the world instead of more imbeciles? Obviously; and that's one reason why people make the decision to have kids despite this failing world - because by raising good humans, we might be able to turn the tide.

In my pessimistic opinion, which I'm not going to apologize for, it's too little too late. Scientists have been saying that the damage we've done to our atmosphere will be irreversible if we don't make changes within the next 12 years. The current and older generations aren't making those changes, and our children won't be grown in time. Our governments are corrupt across the board and there's no sign of that changing within a mere decade. They're the ones with the power to enact changes that could save the planet.

So do I want to doom my child to a planet on the brink of collapse? Do I want to take the risk of inflicting another selfish human onto the world? Do I want my child to witness the apocalypse? Sounds melodramatic, right - the apocalypse. That's a Biblical fantasy. Except that it's becoming less fantasy and more fact with every passing year.

Depressed by this post? Again, I'm not apologizing. People want me to have kids. People pressure me to have kids. People wonder why I'll start sentences about children by saying, "IF I have kids ...". I've decided to explain my thoughts on the subject.

Do I WANT to be a mother?
Oh my God, YES. I've wanted that since I was a toddler (no exaggeration). I get baby fever after being around one, or reading a birth announcement from one of my friends. I've been a babysitter and a nanny and there's something that ignites in me when I'm around children. I want to nurture and encourage them; I want to protect and support them. I want to play with them and experience life through their eyes.

I'm in no position to be a mother now (I don't even have a significant other) and I know it won't happen anytime soon. I've always wanted to experience pregnancy and experience giving birth. I've always wanted to know what it's like to look down at a child and know that it's YOURS. I love the idea of a Mini Me - watching my daughter do things I did at her age; noticing facets of her personality that mimic my own. Looking at another human and knowing your DNA is inside them ... what an experience that would be.

In recent years, however, I've come to realize a tragic truth: I may have to sacrifice what I desire in order to love my earth. I may have to give up that dream of pregnancy and delivery and raising a child that looks like me in order to be a responsible human. If I want children badly enough, I may have to consider adoption.

I don't want to contribute to the overpopulation of our planet. I don't want to knowingly inflict a bleak future on my child. Aside from the obvious issues like global warming, my child will likely know anxiety and depression because I have those things, and anxiety disorders run in my family. Can I knowingly pass that on to another person? Can I bring a human into the world knowing she will experience physical and mental pain, possible trauma, negative emotions like fear, shame, humiliation, embarrassment, and guilt? I don't think I can do that to someone.

Let me be clear though - I am NOT judging others choices to have their own children. I am NOT saying you did something wrong by having kids. To my friends and family - I love your children and your decision to have them. This is about my personal thought process and why I likely won't have biological children myself.

Maybe I'll take a few of the already living 7.7 billion people and adopt them as my own. Or maybe just one. Or maybe I'll be an animal mom for the rest of my life, which is noble in of itself. Maybe I'll give in to a biological child once I have a committed partner (they'd have to make a really good argument though). Whatever the future holds, this is my point of view now - but if we save the world and begin reversing the damage we've done, ensuring a bright future for my offspring, my point of view may change.